Have you checked your bags?

I don’t mean the bags you take on holiday, I mean have you checked the bags you take into challenging conversations?

Yesterday I was coaching a group of senior managers and directors at a well-known automotive company. We were discussing the challenging conversations they were worried about and we delved into the baggage they were carrying into those conversations, and preventing a better outcome.

BAGS (Baggage, Assumptions, Goals and State) is a useful model I use with these types of scenarios, and it only takes a few minutes.

Before your next challenging conversation, ask yourself the following questions –

Baggage – How is the baggage I associate with this person (eg, past interactions, history of the relationship, reputation from others) stopping me have a better conversation? And what can I do to leave that unhelpful baggage outside the room?

Assumptions – What negative assumptions am I making about how the conversation will go? (Eg, this is going to go badly, they think I’m no good at my job) And what different assumptions can I set for a more positive mindset?

Goals – How realistic are the goals I’ve set for the meeting? And who do they serve? If I could set just one goal, that served both people, what would it be?

State – What physical state am I in? If I’m stressed, it’s likely shown in my face and body. And it starts with breath. Try the simple 4,7,8 breathing exercise (https://lnkd.in/eg4M9vRA) to calm nerves and put myself in a better place.

That’s it.

Remember to check your BAGS.

And safe travels!